Mommy Talk Show Candid Conversation with a TV Mom
Pardon my rant, but I had a pretty insensitive comment this week that touched my nerve. But in true #NakedMoms fashion, I’m keeping it real. I still need your help coping with the term “Working Mother.”
Let’s come up with a fairer term than “Working Mother” that reflects what stay at home, work from home and “stay at work moms” do.
Is the term Mother enough? Do we need to be categorized by what we do and how much time we spend inside or outside the home?
I also read a blog post from a pregnant woman explaining all the reasons why NO parent should stay at home and that income + stability surpassed any reasoning for one parent to stay at home.
Excuse me? She’s still got a baby in her belly and has determined what type of mom she’ll be?! You don’t know until you know. What about special needs moms and dads who stay home? Hopefully, her child will be healthy enough NOT to need round-the-clock care from a parent. If they do, she’ll be eating her words.
It has not been easy to go from a regular salary with benefits to being a stay and home wife and mother. Ask my husband and he’ll let out a long sigh. But if I went back to a TV job in Atlanta our lives would take some serious adjustments. I’d be reporting. Standing on the side of the road covering crashes and stand-offs. There is no set time for when work ends in TV news. During Hurricane Katrina, my TV station in MS stayed on the air for seven days straight with no commercials. During the snow and ice storms here in Atlanta, my husband spent several nights sleeping at work because the roads were so bad. Without grandparents and close family nearby, we are doing the best we can.
And if staying at home with our son, giving him an upbringing where his primary caretaker has a Master’s Degree and an Emmy award is wrong…I don’t want to be right. Our son is expressive, energetic, extremely verbal and can read almost anything you put in front of him.
#NakedMoms
Read the rest of the #NakedMoms who take on reinvention and motherhood this month:
Motherhood and Reinvention by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
After Motherhood, Any Other Reinvention Is No Big Deal by Jessica at A Parent In America
A Mother On The Cusp Of Reinvention by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny
Reinventing The Feel by Brandi at Mama Knows It All
Maybe It’s Not Meant To Be by Makeba at MelisaSource
Read my previous #Naked Moms posts: Motherhood & Media: Our Son Inspired My New Career, I Loved You Before You Were Born and Motherhood: The Sacrifices You Need to Make and No One Tells You About.
I never considered whether or not the term “working mom” needs a reinvention. Now that you point it out, though…maybe it does. I work a full-time job for a company from home in addition to taking care of my preschooler, and blogging. It certainly is a lot of work, and the term working mom doesn’t even begin to describe it. Hmm… I need to think more about this!
I love your passion in your vlog and I agree with every single word!! The only word that matters is MOM and that word equals LOTS of work. Where she spends her time or organizes her family budget is irrelevant. I hate the term “working mother” or “stay at home mom” because they do not reflect anything besides stereotypes.
I never really gave it much thought I have generally used “working mom” to mean a mom who works outside of the home “mompreneuer” for those that run business and “stay at home mom” for those whose focus is kids/family and not business endeavors. But I never viewed any of the terms as having a negative connotation simply a classification.
Hearing your thoughts I can see a need to redefine. But I also think each category of mom faces different sets of challenges so I can’t see just viewing everyone as “Mom”.
‘Working mother’ is different for everyone. I was never one that wanted to stay home, even when I was on maternity leave. That was my reality, at that time, and I’m OK with it, even though others weren’t.
What hurts so much is that we disparage or get disparaged by other’s expectations of us. Because we don’t fit their definition of what a ‘working mother’ is, it becomes less than optimal, for them. And they want to let you know how they feel, at EVERY opportunity.
Your choice to take your path works for you, and you can see it in how you do EVERYTHING. IN how you work your blog, to how you take care of your home. It works for YOU; don’t worry about who doesn’t approve of it. The more you approve of how you do YOU, the less others’ DISapproval matters.
Love your posts! ^5!
We are all moms and we work. If we work at a real job we work, if we work from home we work, if we do both we work. If we take care of children we work regardless of anything else we are not sitting on our couches eating bon bons and watching tv all day at least I am not. Why does it matter and I am tired of it we all work and we all work hard. I think all moms want to make money some of us just want to do it from home while others gladly want to get out of the house and do it at a job. I don’t even get into the debate anymore because I do whats best for me and my family. People comment on things they feel is right to them and don’t look at the other factors if it’s right to them then it should be right for everyone.
I absolutely love this and agree 10000%! Great job Joyce. I never thought about the term in a different light either as far as reinventing it……very interesting.
I am not mother, but I have mothered many as a Godmother, Auntie and Volunteer. I agree with you 100%. We need to lead the way to reinvent or re-frame the term working mother. The deeper implication for the recent negative comments that Joyce and other mothers have received is the the devalue of motherhood. If you go to http://www.salary.com/mom-paycheck/ there is a 2013 salary comparison of what Stay At Home Mom Worth $113,568 vs. Working Mom Worth $67,436. Keep up the GREAT work!
Hmmm…This is a topic that tickles me and pisses me off at the same time. As a mom who works outside the home, I can appreciate the fact that my experiences in motherhood can be quite different than those of a mother who stays at home. Not better, not worse, but different. A work-at-home mom would likely come with her own set of challenges unique to her situation and different from myself and the SAHM. The fact of the matter, however, is this. While we are all moms, we are also all different–different circumstances, different values, different choices. And there is nothing wrong with acknowledging (and even celebrating) those things that make us unique. So I say alladat to say, no I don’t think the term “working mom” needs to be reinvented. If anything, we need to connect on our similarities, embrace our differences and be supportive each others’ choices. It’s already a jungle out here in these motherhood streets!
I agree with you strong and able to do what we set out to create new forever homes.
I think whether you stay at home or have an outside job a mother is always a “working mother.”
Very well written piece about motherhood and working. I like the part about trying to adjust to the changes with working and staying home. There is so many costs involved when a Mom decides to work and the extra childcare costs and traveling can not make it worth it. I think a stay at home mom with the kids when they are younger is so important! But, even if she is a stay at home Mom-she is still a working mom
It is SO hard being a working mother. I don’t think I ever considered reinventing the term.
I like to stay home and do the same thing I am a working mother! 100%
I work from home and take care of my child so I am a working mother
I am a mom and I have a 5 years old daughter, so I can understand that for any mother how difficult it is to look after her children and going out for job. That is the reason I prefer to work from home that allows me to look after my child and make me independent as I can earn from home and stay updated with today world. If you are also in same situation I have a suggestion for you from here you can learn how to make money or get good earning from home based job, I am confident it will be of Great Value to you and yours. Respectfully, Enjoy: http://vipspecialgifts.com/go/Shweta/
ALL moms work…and work hard!! Just some of us work other places too 🙂
Great article, thank you for sharing.. I would love to been able to stay at home when my girls were little, but I always worked outside the home. I feel like that I miss alot
I’m sure you gave them just what they needed. Stay at home moms feel guilty too.
I’m not a mother but I think a mother who stays home and takes care of her children is considered a working mother as well. It’s a hard job, they should get paid to do it.
I agree…a mother is always a working mother…inside or outside the home.
Being A Mom Is A Job Itself, I Think Everyone Should Be Respectful Of All Mom’s No Matter If They Are A Working Mom Or A Stay At Home Mom.
A mom, whether she is working out side the home or is taking care of the house and kids is still a Working Mom. After all as we all know the job of mom is never done, no time off, no sick days etc.
I was a ‘working Mom’ for many years. I worked outside the home. At the time I held 2 jobs and both involved taking care of others children. (worked in a school and also in a childrens group home) I didnt have time to think about what my title was I just knew to survive I needde to work. I had no choice..
I think Mom is what you make it- whether its working outside the home, inside the home or whatever. We are all Mothers and we all work hard.
well poo I dont know if the comments are moderated I typed out a whole thing- its been a very long day!
i agree mother does not equal perfection
Every mom works every day. It doesn’t matter where they work or who they work for…
I think every mom is a working mother. Ypu work at home and most have jobs outside the home. I know this is our job to do these things but sometimes it is overwhelming.
I worked out of the home with 2 kids, and now stay at home with 3. They are both tough jobs, but seriously, I think at home is harder!
What an interesting topic! I hadn’t thought about this before but you bring up great points!
Being a mom is work, hard work, either way. And takes a lot of time & patience. It takes a strong mind. I agree with everything you said. Great way to put it! Loves the video.
I truly think that ALL mothers work hard. I do not believe that a label is needed for stay at home or working moms. I also have to laugh at all of the opinions that I have heard from women who are still pregnant on how things are going to be, should be, or what kinds of parent they will be. I especially love when they judge others. I would love to have a follow up to know how those opinions and expectations are working out for them once they have an “outside” baby. lol
I have four children including one special needs son who is has autism but even before he was born when we only had one child and then two children, we decided that one of us would need to stay home to care for our children since we had no help from anyone and it was decided that my husband would be the stay home parent and it worked! Now we have four children including my son who has autism and he requires 24 hour attention and sometimes I even wonder if my husband can do it all on his own since we also have a one year old baby girl! We don’t have it all but we have enough, we live in a small but comfortable home, we have clothing on our backs and there’s always food on the table. We don’t have it all but let’s just say we make the best of what we have because life isn’t about having the best money can buy but making the best of what you have and we will always have each other and I think the quality time we spend together is priceless above anything.
Mother’s who are financially able to stay at home to raise their children are ‘working’ moms. Besides, raising children is a job in and of itself and should not be criticized by judgmental people that have nothing better to do or anything constructive to say.
This is a tough subject. I think I’d be like your husband and just let out a long sigh. I stay at home, but working is something I never get a break from.
A working mom seriously has two jobs. My mom had to work when I was little but I knew she did it for us.
All moms are workers. Wheter it is in the home or outside of the home. The number one priority for all of us are the children.
i love your honesty! i honestly feel wether we work full time, part time or as a stay at home mom – that we are hard working mom all in all! we do our best to do the right thing for the family & should be treated w/ love & respect. my mom work like crazy when i was growing up coz she have to raise 3 kids on her own. I have completely understand it & will never blame or belittle everything she does. i will never be the person i am now if not because of her & i love her for everything she did & didnt do!