This is a guest post by Erin Newman an Atlanta-based Life & Business Coach who also writes romance novels. I met Erin several years ago at Starbucks and we made an instant connection.
Remember January of 2018? I’m betting you had some New Year’s Resolutions. How many did you keep?
So let’s talk about how you can actually make them work this year.
First, let’s translate from the word resolutions to the word goals. I know, I know…goals sounds super boring. And even scary. Because what if you write them down, but then, STILL nothing changes? That would feel even worse than not having had a goal at all.
But what if you only got half-way to that goal? Wouldn’t that feel better than nothing?
Just stay with me as we talk about how to make your goals really achievable for 2019.
- Make then S.M.A.R.T.: Specific, Measurable, Achievable, Relevant and Time-bound. You guys have probably already heard of SMART goals, so I won’t dive in too much here, but something like “get healthy” is never, ever going to get you through to next December. Something like “eat a salad for lunch 3 x per week” is measurable and achievable, though.
- Create a plan. Let’s say your “get healthy” SMART goal is to exercise five times per week. Have you scheduled those times into your calendar? (I like to exercise first thing in the morning. That way, no one can interfere with it…not even my own mind!)
- Make your goal actually achievable. If you set yourself an impossible goal (notice SMART includes the word “achievable”), and your mind doesn’t actually believe you can do it, then you will start to subconsciously self-sabotage in some way. This might take the form of procrastination, low energy, or just “another day went by and nothing happened…”. Your goal should feel like a bit of a stretch, but not like a giant leap. You want to feel like you actually deserve this thing in your life, whatever it is.
- Check-in and determine if your goal is actually YOUR goal, and not someone else’s version of success. Those NYR’s might be someone else’s idea of what you “should” be doing. If you don’t actually care about losing weight, or quitting smoking, or creating a six-figure business, but your spouse has said they want you to…well, guess what, you’re not actually going to follow through on it. #sorrynotsorry
- Write them down! Like, every day! Enough said.
- Prioritize the actions you plan to take over everything else (and do them first).
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For instance, if you’ve said that your goal is to grow your business by creating 5 new contacts every week, but you spend your golden hours (those special times when you are at your most productive) going grocery shopping or cleaning…then what are you really saying?
- Focus only on the actions, not the outcome. Give yourself credit when you complete the action, not for the outcome. For instance, if you have worked out 3 out of the 5 times you allotted yourself, celebrate that! It’s three more than nothing. And notice we aren’t celebrating weight loss…only the action!
If you’re an entrepreneur, you can utilize this same philosophy in your business. Take the action and don’t worry about the outcome. Do the sales calls without worrying about whether someone buys. (I know, again, easier said than done.)
- Release the belief that “someone like me” can’t achieve what you are trying to achieve.
My favorite way of doing this is to journal around this question: “If I were to achieve/do/be/have my goal of X, that would mean….” Write down everything that comes up, no matter how silly or crazy it seems. You will probably be surprised by what your subconscious believes about achieving that goal. You might believe, for instance, that you’ll have to sacrifice your family time, or your personal time, or even the very essence of you who are in order to achieve it.
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Which means that your subconscious will be telling you “Don’t do what you need to do to achieve this! You’ll have to become a different person! Your life will be hell!”
And even if your conscious mind doesn’t believe that…it doesn’t matter. The subconscious always wins.
Once you’ve written down all of the possible things that might happen if you were to achieve that goal, focus for a minute on each item, notice where it is sitting in your body, and then ask it to release. Keep asking for it to release until you no longer feel any intensity or charge around it.
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Erin Newman is a mindset coach for entrepreneurs, creatives, and leaders. She helps women to bust through limiting beliefs and fears and claim their magic in their pricing, programs, and marketing messages so that they can finally feel confident and make the money they deserve to be making.