(VIDEO) Myth vs. Reality of Intimacy After 40

Will you need personal lubricant to have spontaneous intimacy after 40? Maybe not. Just in case I’d like to share my story with you.

This shop has been compensated by Collective Bias, Inc. and its advertiser. All opinions are mine alone. #TheMoodStrikes #CollectiveBias

(VIDEO) Myth vs. Reality of Intimacy After 40 ~ MommyTalkShow.com


Before I get into the nitty gritty of how intimacy can after after you turn 40,  I need to let you in on a little conversation I had with my Mom. By the way, this is a re-enactment but the second part of the video is pretty darn close to what really happened when I called my Mom and told her about this topic…


Phew!!! Now that I’ve gotten the re-enactment of the  uncomfortable conversation I had with my Mom out of the way –  I can break down to you the myth vs. the reality of intimacy after 40.


Here’s the myth we’re led to believe: After marriage, the extraordinary romance of your honeymoon continues.

Your partner leaves fresh flowers and a martini on your night stand every night to let you know they care.

Rose petals and fresh fruit are strewn across your marital bed to welcome in the romance.

(Why do we think this is going to happen every night?)

(VIDEO) Myth vs Reality of Intimacy After 40 ~ MommyTalkShow.com

(VIDEO) Myth vs. Reality of Intimacy After 40 ~ MommyTalkShow.com


Now to the reality….

Between the lack of sleep and wacky work schedules, my husband and I are not on the same page when it comes to intimacy. It’s not as frequent as we’d like. Definitely not as frequent as before we became parents.

Children just change things.

We’d like to recapture the freedom to be spontaneous.

But when a little person can open your bedroom door at any moment, it kind of diminishes the spontaneity of it all.

As a 41 year old perimenopausal woman, vaginal dryness has had an effect on my sex life. Like lots of busy, tired parents we don’t have as much time for foreplay and heavy petting like we did earlier in our marriage.

So last night, we did something that you may consider “romantic,” but for us it works.

I went to the movies by myself to see a new romance movie my husband had no interest in. He stayed home to watch football and cook me a delicious dinner. When I got home my dinner was ready for me. Yes, we were apart for a portion of the evening. But it was exactly what we both wanted. Right after dinner, I used the KY Liquibeads just to be on the safe side so we could have “smooth sailing” in case my husband wanted “dessert” (if you know what I mean.)

(VIDEO) Myth vs. Reality of Intimacy After 40 ~ MommyTalkShow.com

You’ll find KY Liquibeads in the feminine care aisle of your local drug store. One box ($19.99) includes six ovule inserts and applicators (I give you a look inside the box in the video above). There’s a $1.00 coupon for KY products available at coupons.com. If you’re pregnant or nursing, talk to your doctor before using it.

(VIDEO) Myth vs. Reality of Intimacy  After 40 ~ MommyTalkShow.com

Tell me – what changes have you noticed in your relationship as you and your spouse age? How do you spice things up and stay spontaneous?

About Joyce Brewer

Creator & Host of Mommy Talk Show. Emmy award-winning TV journalist.Wife & Mommy; Mom Blogger; Social Media Coach; Long Island, New York transplant living in Atlanta, GA. Follow Joyce on Twitter @MommyTalkShow Author of Use What You Know: A Business Idea Guide for Moms featuring interviews with mompreneurs who created businesses using their skills & backgrounds.

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  1. Haha! My mother in law reads my blog. THere are several things I should have told my mother in law about before I posted it!

  2. Great subject Joyce. I love KY gel. Do I need it all the time or most of the time? No. But on those occassions that I do need it, it’s nice to have it handy. I needed it more when my kids were younger. I was always tired from everything that goes with having young kids and one of those kids being a sickly child. Now that my kids are teens it’s like we’re in honeymoon phase all the time. So for me sex after 40 has been amazing. Better than in my 20’s and 30’s.

  3. Great post! I especially loved the video. Having a conversation with my mom about sex even at 40, well I think I will pass on that. LOL. It’s nice to know that KY has a product for us busy women who may need just a tad bit help when the mood strikes and our bodies aren’t cooperating. Nothing better than having a backup that works. 🙂

  4. Thanks for not letting movies/society define romsnce for you. Sometimes chocolate & flowers don’t do it for me. A few hours alone is sometimes what sparks my desire. Thanks do much for your story.

    • @Saidah: Sometimes we do better with just a little time apart doing our own thing then reuniting to do “our own thing!”

  5. Love the video Joyce! You look gorgeous as always. I don’t know why this subject is so taboo but a sister is here for it. I’ll have to have a chat with my OB because this preggo mama is not feeling in the mood at all. These may be just what I need. The Hubs would be so happy. Ha!

    • @MJ: I’m sure your estrogen levels have something to do with it. Be sure to talk to your OB before trying it.
      Belly rubs to you!

  6. This seems like a great product. One of the best things about being a modern woman is that we can enjoy intimate time with our spouses without guilt. One of the other great things aout being a modern woman is that techonology makes products like this available so that we can enjoy our spouses without a lot of work and advance preparation.

  7. Kudos to you for going where no blogger has gone before!

  8. So my husband works a pretty stressful job. He’s an introvert and he is a restaurant manager, so when he comes home, he’s irritable, frustrated, and he doesn’t really want to talk. Whereas I’m a social butterfly who is around small children all day and when he gets home, I just want to talk talk talk talk talk talk . We are completely opposites and he spends a lot of time just really frustrated. I need him to NOT be an a-hole for me to be in the mood. If he snaps at me once, things pretty much shut completely down. We have three kids, one is a teenager who KNOWS what’s up. It’s hard to squeeze it in, you know? I definitely need to be more moist down there while we’re doing it and I hate using lube DURING the process. This is a great product. #client

  9. Rachel @toomuch4ne1

    This should be interesting!!