I’m delighted to join a team of moms who are sharing our real-life stories. We are members of #NakedMoms, “Revealing the truth about motherhood.” Don’t get any sexy ideas. We’re all keeping our clothes on! It’s the honest, open and emotionally “naked” conversations that we’ll have that sparked the hashtag. Here’s my take on “Motherhood: The Sacrifices No One Tells You, But You Need to Know.” Pin, tweet or share this on Facebook with a new mom who needs a laugh!
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— Joyce Brewer (@MommyTalkShow) January 14, 2014
You Give Up Sleep. My child thinks “sleep is for suckers.” Even though he’s about to turn 4, he’s been getting up in the middle of the night to play with the toys he got for Christmas. Mix that with the fact that he occasionally gives up his afternoon nap and there are two adult zombies in our household. On weekends, my husband and I trade off catching up on naps. I only really rest when I’m out of town by myself like the #FiguringOut40LA to Los Angeles that I took for my 40th birthday. One of my biggest parenting regrets is not reading any books about sleep training. So buy some! Take a class. Interrogate your pediatrician. The whole sleeping like a baby thing is one of the biggest cliches out there! You Give Up (for or about) Baby #2 As soon as you have baby #1, people start asking you about baby #2. I’ve had to defend our decision to be “one and done” or “robbing” our son of siblings. Oh well. Kids are not cheap. When I get a sad, sympathetic face from a stranger that seems to say “oh, you can’t have just one child,” I ask for a donation to my family’s foundation. That shuts down the invasive interrogator who makes me think “Stay out of my uterus!” Our son was born 9 1/2 months after our wedding. We are still recovering from the shock of parenthood in a lot of ways. There are times I feel the urge to have another baby, then I remember that I’m already surviving on very little sleep with an almost 4 year old. To completely let go of the hope of having another baby, I’m selling A.J.’s old Graco Pack N Play with napper, bassinet and changer. A stroller is for sale. Next are my maternity clothes, but I like having them around for my bloated days when I feel like I can’t fit anything else. You Give Up Last Minute Dates Pre-baby my husband and I went out to dinner every single weekend.
Post-baby, we turned into “those” people who are very selective about the people we leave our child with. A babysitter can easily cost you $50 just to get out the door. My
cheap fiscally responsible husband can think of a million other uses for that money, so we stay in more than I’d like. When we do go out, it’s like coordinating a space shuttle launch. Will the sitter just watch A.J. sleep? What snacks will we leave in case he gets hungry? Is the sitter aware of all of his allergies? Has the sitter had dinner or do we need to order something? If we drop A.J. off at a friend’s house, will traffic or delays make us get home way past bed time? Don’t get me wrong. You can still date after baby and marriage. It’s just a lot more work and pretty expensive. You Give Up (Some) Close Friends Friendships change post-motherhood. The sooner you grasp that, the better. Here I am at 40 with tons of real life friends, thousands of followers on social media but a handful of close friends. I mean the close friends you can call any time just to vent or listen. I asked the fans on the Mommy Talk Show Facebook page about this and they agreed it’s hard as hell to find real friends once you reach 35.
Once you become a mom, the word busy is an understatement, whether you stay at home or work outside the home.
I admit – I’m not the best at keeping in touch with my single, child-free friends either. I’d like to do a better job in 2014 and have been talking to one of my friends from grad school about meeting in NY for a girls weekend.
I’ve also created a bad habit of waiting until I’m so stressed out and need to get out of the house, that I call friends at the last minute to
escape go out or meet for coffee.
Comment below: What have you given up as a mom? Does it make you miss your single, child-free days? How do you carve out time for yourself?
Read the rest of the #NakedMoms and their honesty:
To Be a Better Mom You Have to Give Up by Steph at Confessions of A Stay-At-Home Mom
I Am A Recovering Perfectionist by Thien-Kim at I’m Not The Nanny
Giving Up On Perfect Single Motherhood by Laila at Only Laila
The Time I Almost Gave Up on Motherhood by Vaneese at Mommy Works A Lot
I Didn’t Want to be a Mom by Summer at The Dirty Floor Diaries
Mothering While Introverted by Diamonte at Liberated Mommy
Motherhood is About Giving Up by Jessica at A Parent In Silver Springs
Motherhood: I Give Up by Stephanie at When Crazy Meets Exhaustion
Giving Up Supposed To Be by Brandi at Mama Knows It All
Giving Up And Getting Down by Heather at Diary of A First Time Mom